Finding God’s Comfort in Grief - Pastor Naeem Fazal

[00:00:01] Hey, guys, this is Naim, and you've reached the Mosaic Church Podcast. So excited that you're part of our listening community and love for you to be even more connected. So check out our website. There's more content there and there's more opportunities for you. Get connected in our ministries and events as well. Also, love for you to share this content if this is blessed to you. I know that God wants to use you to bless other people with it, so share this podcast you will. Lastly, would you consider supporting this ministry? This is made possible by other people's generosity, and I'd love for you to pay it forward. [00:00:39] Join us to reclaim the message and the movement of Jesus together. So would you consider giving to this ministry? I know that God is able to do immeasurably more through us when we come together. Thank you so much. God bless you. Enjoy. [00:00:56] Welcome, welcome. Good morning. [00:00:59] Welcome to the series of sermons on sneezing. That's what it is, guys. No, welcome. We're on week two of a series called Bless you, God bless you. And we're talking about this idea of being blessed, right? And so last week we kicked it off. So if you're a guest here, this is week two. This is perfect. And what we're doing is we're actually going through the longest sermon of Jesus, and we're going through not all of it because it spans, like, two chapters in Matthew, but we're talking about the Beatitudes, basically. He talks about nine things about being blessed. The blessed are those, and so we're gonna go through them. And so as we're talking about that, I was realizing, man, this is really, really interesting because this idea of being blessed is such a conversation that we all have, right? Like, who's blessed, who's not blessed? So I like most of you, I would say, like most of you, I came to Charlotte. I wasn't born here. Anybody Born and raised in Charlotte. Anybody? Make some noise? Anybody? Anybody make some noise? One, two. [00:01:54] They're like, what? Okay. Okay. Nice. We got a few. All right. Nice. Do you call it unicorns? I guess so. Very interesting. Like this. This city is very interesting. I came from South Carolina. Any South Carolina. [00:02:06] One. Really excited, dude. Two. Can I get another three? Can I get a three? No, I can't. Okay. So what's interesting about Charlotte, though? A lot of cool things, but personalized and license plates. That's what I noticed. I noticed that a lot of cards had personalized name tags and license plates, and it was really interesting ones. In fact. In fact, I Kid you not. I saw one on the highway, and it was read Naim. It had Naim, my name spelled exactly correct. Naeem. It was on a sweet Beemer. I was like, what? What's happening? This is great. And I was like, no, people think it's me. [00:02:43] People would think it's me. I'm like, oh, Pastor Rolling Around. Sweet Beamer. So the next time I saw him, I literally saw him again. I followed him. [00:02:51] I did. I did. I. I'm not making this up. He. He pulled into my neighborhood. He lived in my neighborhood. [00:03:00] Yes. Yeah. So I slid into his DMs, and now we're besties. [00:03:04] No, we're not. No, we're not. I did not. I was like, oh, wow, this is interesting, but have you ever seen, or you've probably seen the license tag or whatever, the plate that says blessed? [00:03:15] Like, in all kinds of ways? Like, they'll spell it in all creative ways with S's being the dollar signs. Blessed. Have you noticed something about those cars? They're all sweet. [00:03:25] Do you know what I'm saying? They're all nice cars. They're not like, no, they're, like, blessed. And it's like, wow, okay. I remember one car said it was a really nice Mercedes, and it said, you pray, too. And I was like, that's it. That's why I don't roll around in one of those. That's it. I mean, I would love a Porsche. You know what I'm saying? But I need to start praying about it. That's the deal. That's the deal. You know what's interesting is when we think about the word blessed, we confuse success and prosperity with blessings. Like, we think we are blessed if we're doing great, we are blessed if we're rich, we're blessed if our business is doing great. But we're blessed when the church is like, man, it's exponentially growing. We're blessed because I wouldn't be blessed. But the interesting thing about blessings is that Jesus, when he talks about blessing, he talks about being a blessing more than just getting something. In fact, he talks about being the person you were supposed to be. So this series, really, God Bless you, is truly about that. What does it look like for us to be the blessing that we were born to be? Because in his sermon, Jesus talks about that. He alludes to the fact that he's not wanting us to get something. He wants us to be someone. [00:04:39] And so when he talks about this, he talks about blessed are those who are. Last week, we talked about Poor in spirit, for they will see God. And today we talk about something that's really more confusing because, again, it's challenging us not to get something, but to be someone. So let's put it on the screen for you. It's the second one. Bless beatitude. Blessed are those who mourn. Those who. What? [00:05:04] Yes, for they will be. Help me out. What? [00:05:07] They will be comforted. Blessed are those who mourn. And they'll be comforted. These are challenging messages because I'm like, I don't know about that. Blessed are those who are sad. Like, why. Like, why are we talking about this? And I thought about this. I thought about this question. It Could. Could grief be a gift? Is grief that we've got in our lives? Is grief a gift? [00:05:33] Is it. Is grief a gift that God wants to give us? [00:05:38] He tells us that. [00:05:40] Is he inviting us to be a certain kind of people, to see a sight of God that we haven't seen because we don't mourn? He says, hey, you'll see the God of comfort if you actually allow yourself to mourn. And so today, what I wanna challenge all of us is, do we do that? Do we have time and space for that? Do we even like the idea of mourning? Anybody like the idea of mourning? No, we don't. How many of you enjoy crying? A good cry. Hey, A good. [00:06:06] Not you, Pastor. Kristin. Not you. Okay. Not you either. Okay. Come on, now. [00:06:11] I mean, I'm comfortable with crying. When others do it. When others do it. I'm comfortable with that. I don't know if I'm comfortable with crying. I don't know what it is. I'm not quite sure. I mean, have you ever had somebody apologize for crying? Anybody? They start crying or they're weeping, they're like. They apologize for it. I don't think we're. Most of us are comfortable with it. I was watching a show, and I wanna tell you the show, but I feel like every time I mention a show at Mosaic, you guys judge me. Will you guys judge me? [00:06:36] Yeah. You guys will judge me? Okay. I binge watched this show. Okay. I'm not saying I recommend it, but it's pretty good. Pretty good. And I binge watched it. It's called Halo. [00:06:46] Halo. For those of you who know what Halo is, you're like, halo is a video game. A violent video game. Yes, it is. Okay. Okay. It was like. [00:06:56] It broke a lot of records. Crazy. I think, 20 years ago when it came out. [00:07:01] But Halo is interesting. The show is based off of the show. Now I didn't play the game at all. I've never played this game. But I watched the show and I was, like, really fascinated. Here's why. Because there's these super soldiers. There's super soldiers fighting aliens. Who doesn't like that? Hello? Okay, so they're fighting super aliens and super aliens as well. But here's what's interesting about it. The show actually explores the idea of these warriors who do not understand how to process emotional pain. Like, well, basically what happens is that they're trained. They're trained, in fact, actually altered in some ways to withstand physical pain. So they get it. They're all on mission. They go in. They. [00:07:42] They're the heroes of this world. Okay? They do that. But there's a part in there where they realize that the other side of them, their humanity has been programmed out and they do not feel anymore. And there's a scene in there that they actually take out a chip or something like that that's been blocking their brain to feel certain things. And so what happens is there's a scene where the guy's, like, trying to figure out what's going on inside of him. He goes, I feel things. I feel things. And the person. The other person says, no, that's emotional pain. [00:08:13] That's grief. [00:08:14] And he was like, I don't even know how to process that because he can withstand physical pain, but he doesn't even have words to explain what emotional pain looks like. And I thought that's interesting because the show is very. I think it's brilliant because it shows that there are some people who are. You have gone through. And I have friends who are. Who've gone through traumatic experiences in warfare, come out on the other side of this traumatized. And if they don't have tools, they don't have words, they don't have space, they don't have places, they don't have environments, conversations where they can actually unpack some of these things. It messes with them. They don't even understand how to process pain in their. How to process sorrow and sadness. And I wanna be honest with you, I feel like I don't know if I do that. Well, I don't, because I think about the things I watch on tv. You know, Ashley and I watch different shows, right? And I just enjoy a really. I enjoy. Any good. [00:09:09] They're all good, I think. John Wick movies. Anybody? Any John Wick? Anybody? Any? [00:09:13] Make some noise. Come on. Yes. Okay. All right. All right. John's got me. Okay. Okay. Okay. [00:09:19] Yeah. I just enjoy and What I realized is, here's what I realized about myself. I realized I would rather see people mad than sad. [00:09:27] I like people doing stuff when they're mad, then they're sad. Like, I don't want someone just crying all over tv. I just. I'm like, I don't know what to do here. I'm like, oh, come on now. I mean, I feel like I have to join in because I'm a pastor. I'm like, I gotta lean into that. I'm like, this is not even real. This is not even real. This is fake. But I'd rather just people, you know, do some stuff. [00:09:49] Why? Because being sad is exhausting. [00:09:53] Being mad is exhilarating, Right? And people have told me, some people on staff, I won't mention names, okay? They're like, you need to. You need to have a. You need to hack your crying. Anybody heard of that? [00:10:04] Hack your crying? Have you heard of that? You heard of that? Okay. Okay. It basically is you. You. You watch something on purpose so you can cry. [00:10:14] That is the. [00:10:16] What? What? Why? Why would I want to put myself through that? Like, why do I want to do that? People tell me, you gotta watch the show called the Chosen. Anybody heard of the Chosen? Anybody? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're like, oh, my gosh. And pastors will judge me. They're like, you watched the Chosen all the way. I'm like, no. They're like, why are you not watching the show? And I'm like, I watched the first season. Okay, here's the problem. Every episode, I am crying. [00:10:39] I'm like, oh, my God, it's Jesus. Oh, he said this. I did it with Ashley. And she looks at me like, what is wrong? I'm like, nothing, man. Nothing. [00:10:49] Oh. [00:10:51] At the end of the season, I was like, I'm done. Whew. Jesus, you lived through that. God. Okay, I'm good. I know the rest of the story. I'm good. You know what I'm saying? I'm not doing this to myself. [00:11:01] Not doing this. [00:11:03] But here's what's interesting. Jesus invites us to be people who are people who are comfortable with mourning, who lament, who cry because they'll see God. As if God is saying, I want you to see a part of me. [00:11:19] And you won't be able to see that if you're not this kind of person. [00:11:23] So what does that mean? So I put down some notes. I put down, like, this idea of, like, what does it mean to be someone who mourns, someone who's okay with grieving, who's comfortable with grieving. [00:11:37] Who's tender hearted. [00:11:40] A person who he says, blessed are those who are tender hearted. Blessed are those who lament, who lament, who are able to feel deep empathy for others. [00:11:55] Blessed are those people who are able to reflect on what is wrong and sad in this world. [00:12:03] He says those people are going to experience God's presence, his divine presence, as he is the God of comfort, who gives us a sense, who creates inside of us something that the scriptures even say, this unexpressed, unimaginable peace that is beyond any understanding, that guards our hearts and our minds. I think for some of us, we've never experienced God that way. [00:12:33] We've experienced grief and pain because we've lost things, maybe lost some things, maybe lost people, opportunities. Yeah, we've all lost some things. We've all been sad, we've all had people make us cry. The same people that made us laugh. [00:12:49] They've broken our hearts. And I wonder though, if God is saying, hey, I'm inviting you in to see a part of me, but I'm going to open up a part of you first and then I'm gonna step into it. [00:13:01] And so if you see God as the God of like, well, I don't know, I don't know. I'm not, I, I just, I just want God to fix it. [00:13:09] Recently I put on my Instagram, I, I, I put, I asked the question on Instagram, I said, what kind of God do you want? [00:13:15] What kind of God do you want? A God who provides all, answers, all your prayers and provides every needs that you have. Everyone or a God who understands and who'll give you everything you need, who understands, who sees you, who feels with you. And I think we much rather want a transactional relationship with God. We just say, hey, tell me how to pray so I can be blessed. Tell me how to do the things and I'll get the things I want. I just want a transactional relationship. And for so many of us, that is what we are comfortable with. We're like, you are so provide. [00:13:53] What do you want me to do? [00:13:55] I'll do it, I'll commit, I'll pray, I'll do the things get me. Even going to heaven seems to be like this transactional relationship. I'll say the prayer, I'll do the thing. Am I in? [00:14:06] Punch my ticket, do this for me. And yet God is the God who says, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not that God. I'm not transactional relationship God. I'm an intimate relationship God A God who doesn't fix your life, who sits there when your life is falling apart. The problem is, I don't know if I want that kind of God. I want a God who. What, Fixes stuff. [00:14:27] Just fix it. Why? Because some things that have happened in my life, I have often wondered, God, you know what? I would not be going through this if you wouldn't have fixed it. [00:14:38] Have you ever thought that? [00:14:40] Have you ever had the courage to, like, you know, whose fault it is? [00:14:46] God's. And you don't want to say it because God's on time. You know, God's good all the time. [00:14:52] And for some of us, we're like, not all the time. [00:14:55] Sometimes he's nowhere to be found. [00:14:59] So I wonder, is the God, the God that you want is the God whose job is to fix everything? Because if his job is to fix everything in this world, then he should be fired. You know what I'm saying? [00:15:12] Like, someone, his direct report needs to talk to him and say about his performance. Because I know a lot of things that are happening in this world. You're like, where are you? You didn't show up to work again. You know what I'm saying? Like, what's happening? [00:15:25] What's happening in this world? So maybe he's saying, ah, that's not my job. [00:15:29] That's not my job. What is his job? Well, there's a part of God that I want you to see, but it's gonna require us to think about the thing that you have lost, the thing that you're maybe sad about, that you have not grieved about. You haven't given yourself permission to even do that. [00:15:47] So what kind of God is this? He's a God, first of all. He's a God who understands deep empathy. [00:15:56] John 11 says this. It says, when Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come along with her also. [00:16:05] Doing what? [00:16:07] Weeping. She was deeply moved. He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. [00:16:12] Where have you laid him? He asked. Come and see, Lord, they replied. And then Jesus did what? [00:16:20] He wept. Anybody know what this is? The scene is? This is whose funeral? How many know? Lazarus funeral. Jesus shows up, shows up. Imagine showing up at a funeral, showing up at a funeral. And we've all, I would say, attended a funeral. Showing up knowing. Knowing full well this person you're going to raise from the dead. [00:16:42] If I knew that, guess what I would not be doing? [00:16:45] Crying about it. [00:16:47] Guess what I'll be doing? I got this. [00:16:50] I got this. I know you're crying right now. I'm about to fix this. [00:16:55] Don't freak out. Don't freak her out, okay? Don't get scared, okay? It's happening, by the way, all the things bad about him. You said, hey, it's happening. He's coming back from the dead. [00:17:06] I would not be like, oh, gosh, I would not be in that moment feeling a sense of deep empathy. He, Jesus shows up and all of a sudden knowing he's going to be divine. He is so human in that moment. And he goes, I'm crying. Why are you crying about this? [00:17:27] Why are you crying? See, what made this powerful was that after he raised Jesus from the dead, people were like, oh, my gosh. You actually cried before that. [00:17:38] Why? Because God wants us to be people who go, I don't have just sympathy because I've been there. I have empathy, which means I've not been there. [00:17:50] But I see you. [00:17:52] I'll sit with you, I'll cry with you. See, that's the beauty of humanity and that's the necessity of diversity. You see, when we have a diverse group of people, which we do at Mosaic, we don't understand, we don't fully comprehend our backgrounds. We don't. You don't understand what it means to be like a Pakistani born, raised in Kuwait, right. And ex Muslim. You have no idea. I, I, I, I wake up like this. [00:18:21] I mean, not like this. [00:18:23] This, this took a lot, this took a lot, by the way. Okay, but I mean, you, I don't, but I don't expect you to. I don't expect you to. [00:18:32] And I, and I pray you don't expect me to. But I tell you what I can do. I can step into a moment with where, where you feel like you've been betrayed by someone, where you've lost something so dear to you that you don't even know how to express. I know that what it means to, for some of you who've comforted me, you don't know me. You don't know what I've gone through, but you know that you just need to be around me. You have deep empathy for me. [00:19:00] That's what God wants to tell us, that blessed are those people who can have great empathy for people who don't look like them, who don't have their background, but they have deep empathy. Are we being a blessing? [00:19:15] Are we being people who have deep empathy here? [00:19:19] Not just that, but as you look into some of the passages of Jesus, you find that not only does he have a great deep empathy, but he also has this idea of he steps into lament. [00:19:33] And lament is not necessarily connected to, like, a loss that you have. Lament is looking at a situation and just going, I. I can't believe this is going on. Have you ever had that moment in our world, right? You're like going, what are we doing? [00:19:48] What is going on? And I know. I think for a lot of us, I know for me, I look at Christianity as a whole, and I'm like, what's going on? I mean, we talk about in Mosaic, our mission is to reclaim the message and the movement of Jesus. Years ago, I was like, man, there's not much to reclaim. Now I'm like, we gotta reclaim everything. [00:20:06] Everything needs to be reclaimed. Oh, my gosh, what's happening here? What is happening? Like, we don't even know the real Jesus. Please stand up kinda thing. Like, what's happening? [00:20:17] Who. [00:20:19] Because people are just. And I know Ashley has. I know that because she's more comfortable with grief than I am. She's like, I can't believe it. [00:20:29] I can't believe it. That's called lament. [00:20:32] It's called lament. [00:20:33] And so here's what Jesus does, right? Jesus steps into that in Luke 19. [00:20:38] Luke records this and he says here, as he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he did what he what? [00:20:45] He wept. See, this is the. Jesus wept. Is not that the. That's not the only time Jesus wept. [00:20:51] Jesus was comfortable crying. [00:20:55] He was comfortable in crying, which is so strange to me. [00:21:00] He wept and he said this. He says, if you even you had only known on this day what would bring you peace. [00:21:09] But now it's hidden from your eyes. [00:21:12] Like, he came to save them and they wanted to kill him. [00:21:17] He. He actually, in that passage, talks about how he would love the whole city. He would love to just. [00:21:24] If he was a mother hen, he would just cover that city up. Like, what. What kind of God feels that way, looks at your situation and goes, I just wish I could fix it. [00:21:36] I wish it was not like this. [00:21:39] I just wish it wasn't like this. See, for some of you, your life is so complicated. [00:21:48] Your grief is so complicated because it's not simple. It's not simple. In the middle of that, God's like, I feel so bad. [00:21:58] I feel so bad for what people have done to you. I feel so bad. I feel so bad about this. And I know for us, we're like, just. Just fix it. [00:22:07] And like I said here, God is saying, hey, blessed are you when you mourn for, you're going to see a part of God that you've never seen before before. But will we make room for that? Will we slow down and stop and feel the feelings? [00:22:23] Because I know. [00:22:24] I know me. And if you're like me a little bit, I see stuff on Instagram and I get mad more than I get sad because I would just. Yeah, but here, God gets sad. He got mad too. But in here, he's. [00:22:43] He's just sad. [00:22:45] There's another one, too. Jesus feels this, a deep sense of grief when it comes to human suffering, injustice. [00:22:57] Look at Matthew 9. It says here. He says when he saw the crowds, he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because of what? Because they were what? [00:23:07] They were harassed and what? [00:23:11] Helpless. [00:23:12] He goes like a sheep without a shepherd. He's like, I wish I could be in that moment, be there for you. I wish I could be the shepherd who would keep you safe. I wish I could do that for you. I wish I could have protected you. [00:23:24] I wish I could have protected you from that abuse. [00:23:28] I wish I could have. [00:23:30] I wish I could have. [00:23:32] I just. I wish I could. I wish I could have. [00:23:35] He's a God who says, hey, I see. I see the injustice that's going on. I see it. And he has compassion on us. He goes, I feel this. [00:23:47] See, when you and I get really riled up and are saddened by injustice, we are doing this because our dad does that. [00:23:56] Our dad gets so riled up, wants to do something. That's why we do things like outreach. Why? Because we are moved to compassion. Because of the inj. [00:24:07] Because the inequality of things in our world and in our society. It's important that we lean into those things. [00:24:16] And then as we keep on going, looking at the grief journey of Jesus, I guess he doesn't just do that. He also feels for himself. Like he. Like. I'm about to show you a passage where Jesus is dealing with tons of anxiety. [00:24:32] I don't even wanna ask you to raise your hand if anybody deals with anxiety. I'll tell you. I do. I didn't even realize I was dealing with anxiety. I found. I'll tell you what. I. What happened. It was during COVID I think I've told you the story. [00:24:44] I was watching. I was watching the same shows that I watch. I was watching the office. Okay, whatever. Okay. I was eating the same chips and all that. I was doing my thing, Doing my thing. Almost every night I would do this. My son walked in, he was like, oh, the office. Oh, chips, okay. And I'm like, whatever, man, Whatever. Okay, okay. It's Covid. And I'm just. And then before he left, he said, hey, dad, you know you're dealing with anxiety, right? [00:25:06] And I was like, what? [00:25:10] I'm like, hold up. Come back here. What? [00:25:13] Come back here. You can't just drop that and leave. Come back here. Let's talk about this. And he was like, that's what people do when they go back and watch and rehearse the same shows and they eat the same food. [00:25:23] You're dealing with anxiety. [00:25:26] And I was like, you're right. [00:25:31] I don't know how to deal with anxiety. [00:25:34] Cause here's the problem. Here's the problem. I know at some point you're like, I am too old to be anxious. [00:25:40] Have you ever. [00:25:41] I've aged out of this. [00:25:43] I've aged out. I'm too old. I can't do this. Other people or. I've got too much going on to be anxious. I can't do that. I can't be this person who's, like, grieving and sad and sorrowful and just afraid of the future, like, just all, like, anxious and. Because when we're anxious, we do all kinds of crazy things. We just. We just. Have you ever told someone, hey, could you just stay here? [00:26:08] Just stay here. Like, have you ever asked a friend, just. Just come and. Just stay here. Have you ever just wanted to come close and sit and sit with someone close. What are you doing? Nothing. [00:26:18] Just sit here. Just sit here. Have you ever wanted someone just to be around? You're like, you don't even have to talk to me. Just be around. Don't leave. Don't leave. [00:26:27] Are you scared? No. [00:26:29] Just don't leave. It's a very human thing. That's what happens when we deal with, like, stuff that's in our minds. We don't know what to do. And we're sad and we're mad and we're all these things. But the question is, is God the God that you want to have, does he feel these things? And the answer is yes. Matthew 26, Matthew 26:36 says, When Jesus. Then Jesus went to his disciples, to a place called what? [00:27:00] Come on, you guys can say it. [00:27:02] Better you. Better you than me. [00:27:05] Gethsemane. Okay, and what do you do? Okay, so he goes there. And if you know that place, it's the place that he went to pray. It's the place. [00:27:13] The last place before he got crucified. Okay, this is the night before. Okay? He was not the night before he got crucified, but before he got arrested. [00:27:22] And he said to them, he Goes and says this to them. He says this. He said, my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow. [00:27:33] In other translations, it literally says anxious. [00:27:36] I'm so anxious right now. I'm so anxious to the point of death. [00:27:41] Like, I don't know. I don't know how to. I don't know. This is Jesus, by the way. Jesus. Jesus walks on water. Jesus calms the storm. Jesus, same Jesus feeds the 5,000. Jesus, raise people from the dead. Jesus. Same Jesus. Okay. Same Jesus. [00:27:58] Same Jesus. [00:28:00] And then he says this. [00:28:03] Stay here and keep watch with me. [00:28:09] Can you just stay here? [00:28:11] Hey, disciples. I know, I know. Just. Can you just stay? Just stay here? Just stay. Just stay. Just stay. [00:28:18] This is Jesus Christ asking for humans, his friends, to not leave him just because he wanted to feel safe. [00:28:35] What. [00:28:36] What kind of God do you want? A God who just fulfills all your needs, all your wants, answers all the prayers, Or a God who sees and understands you more than you ever will comprehend? [00:28:53] He gets your anxiety. And here's what he's saying. He's basically telling us this. He's saying. He's saying this. He's saying, if you create. If you create space for sorrow, create space for sorrow in our life, which, by the way, why would we want to. But he just says, if you do that, blessed are those who mourn who create space for sorrow, because when they do that, it creates space for who, for God's spirit to work. He says, blessed are those, because they're gonna be comforted. They're gonna interact with the Holy Spirit in a way that they've never interacted before. [00:29:33] So my challenge to us is, how do we do this? How. How do we do this? And should we do this? And the answer to that is, yes, we should. Yes, we should do that. Because in Paul in Corinthians, he says this. He says, all praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles. So. So. So. So. So that we can, what? We can do what? [00:30:03] Comfort others when they are troubled? We are able to give them the same comfort God has what given to us. He says, you can be the blessing you are. Were born to be. [00:30:20] You can do this if you create space for sorrow and grief, to process this out. And friends, we have to do this ourselves, with friends, professionally, in all the ways, but we gotta do it. Because trauma that doesn't get transformed gets transmitted in every other area of our life, and we gotta do this. So can I suggest a few things? Three things to create space, have a place, time and season. A place. What does that mean? You gotta have people in your life that you can be open and honest with and say all the feelings. I don't mean you have to say the right things. I mean, you can say the things that you're like, you thought about. You feel like if I say this blasphemy, I don't even know if I should say this out loud. But you can say it out loud, allow yourself permission and a place, a safe place where you can say these things without being judged about your Christianity or your faith or whatever it is or who you are. If you like. I just feel like I hate da da da da da da. I just feel that this person, like, just say all the things you gotta have, that not every people, not every people are safe people. [00:31:37] But you gotta find those people. Yeah, you gotta find those people. But you gotta have people. You gotta have a place. Because if you don't say it out loud, you have to verbally say, what happened? What did you lose? [00:31:50] You gotta say it. You got to get it out. [00:31:54] You gotta get it out. And then you have to have also time. Time. And let me tell you this. This is one thing that God gives us more than anything else. [00:32:05] If grace was a very practical thing, it would be translated as time. He gives us time to get it together, to grow up, to learn from our consequences. He just gives us so much time. I was doing a podcast this past week for a lady, and she was interviewing me. And anyway, we were talking about time and trauma and all that, and she was talking about her divorce. And she said, you know, it's interesting you talk about time and. Because I'd mentioned to her what I just told you guys, and she was like, you know, I've been divorced and it's been four years, and I feel like some of my friends are like, you know, just. Just, you're done. Come on, you're done. [00:32:43] You're done. Now you're done. [00:32:45] And I just feel like some people are waiting on me to be done. [00:32:49] And I said, okay. I said, oh, wow, okay. I said, how long were you married for? And I'm like, this is a podcast. I was like, this isn't a counseling situation. I'm like, she. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been married for? And she said, 15 years. And I said, 15 years? [00:33:04] 15 years. And you're like, probably in your mid-30s. I said, those are formative years of your life. 15 years. [00:33:12] Oh, my gosh. You know how long it took Moses to get over his stuff? [00:33:17] Moses. Moses in the Bible. [00:33:20] Anybody remember he spent how many years in the desert? [00:33:24] How many years? [00:33:25] 40 years. [00:33:27] 40 years. [00:33:29] 40 years. And then God was like, okay, okay, 40 years. Now, buddy, let's turn this around, okay? Because you're 80 years old right now. Like, come on, like, 40 years. And I told her, I said. I said, you need to not be on someone else's timer. [00:33:45] Like, this is this. This is not. [00:33:48] You're not supposed to be on someone else's clock. [00:33:51] Because we always do this. We put ourselves on a clock, we put others on a clock. We are infatuated with clocks and timers. We have timers for everything. And now with our phones, oh, my gosh, we got timers for everything. And thank you for that. Yeah. And what happens is, is that we do this emotionally, too. And God says, hey, I want you to stop. Don't put yourself on a timer. And if you put someone else on a timer, you need to repent from that, which means stop doing it. [00:34:20] Stop doing that. And lastly, you gotta have seasons. And seasons are tricky because. But they're very important. Seasons are like. The best way to explain to you is like when you go through a loss. And I went through a season. My dad tried to take his life, and he was unsuccessful. [00:34:40] But then he started getting sicker and sicker and sicker, and it dragged out and dragged out. And, you know, I wrote a book called Ex Muslim ten years ago. It was amazing because it's told the stories of God and how God moves supernaturally. But then I wrote this book which just came out a couple of months ago. It's called Tomorrow needs you. And it's talking about seeing beauty when you feel hopeless, when it's talking about coming out of trauma. And it's actually dedicated to my dad because my dad said, tomorrow doesn't. That didn't need him. He was like, no one needs me. And he was caught. Caught in so much sorrow and so much grief and so much pain. And that's why he didn't believe that he was, you know, that he was any use to anybody. And he couldn't see it. And then he passed away. I don't know if you've lost a loved one or a parent, but the first parent, I mean, I don't know what it was. Maybe it was my dad, because I wasn't really that close to him. I don't know what it is. You're not even close to him and you still feel the worst. It's a thing. It's a thing. [00:35:46] And I just. [00:35:48] I was. [00:35:49] I was in this. I knew that I. For a season, I was not normal. I mean, I'm not normal anyways, but I was not normal. In fact, what I had to do, because I had talked to a counselor and he told me, he said, this is the one thing I will tell you to do. He said, go tell your staff, the people that work with you, that for a season you're not gonna. I'm not going to make any good decisions. [00:36:11] And I was like, what? I make the best decisions. And he was like, your morning, your dad. [00:36:18] Don't make any. Just tell your people to work with you, that you're gonna say all kinds of things and have all kinds of these ideas that are not even good and don't do it. Just tell them. So I went to the staff and I said, hey, for a season, I'm not gonna make any good decisions. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna eventually make good decisions. I. I'm saying for right now, I'm just not. [00:36:39] Because I don't even know what I'm doing. Like, I don't even know what I'm feeling. It's waves. Have you seen? It's waves of grief. And it's just complicated. [00:36:49] So seasons are this. You have a season for healing, and then you have a season for therapy. And then you have a season of actually walking and going back to what you were doing. [00:37:02] And see, for some of you, as you're grieving something that you've lost so much, some people are going, hey, hey, hey. Let's. Let's process this. And you're not there. [00:37:11] You're not there. Why? Because you just need time to heal. [00:37:15] Heal. It was more traumatic than they'll ever know. [00:37:19] But then after that, they just. You have to move from. It's eventually move to therapy. Therapy stinks, by the way. If you're a therapist, we love you, but it is painful. [00:37:31] Why? Because you bring up stuff again and when you bring it up, it's like all over, reliving the whole thing again. [00:37:39] And if you've been to physical therapy, that's no fun at all. [00:37:44] Why? Because they start moving this thing that didn't move that direction anymore, and it hurts. It just hurts. But that's again a season. And then eventually you gotta start using that part of you that you broke. [00:38:00] And so for some of us, we have to. As we become people who are comfortable with mourning and lamenting and being sad and grieving and crying and Weeping. [00:38:14] We have to move through seasons. [00:38:16] So here's my prayer. My prayer is that if you would move from one season to the next, you would do that. [00:38:26] In fact, I want to read a passage to you. [00:38:28] It's in Psalms Psalms 30. [00:38:31] And I'm gonna read this over you, but I wanna ask you, pray this over you, too. So here's what I wanna do. I wanna pray for you, but I would love for you today, as I'm praying, just to close your eyes and think of the one thing that truly the one dear thing to you that you lost, the one thing that really makes you sad when you think about it. [00:38:56] And it could be a person. [00:38:58] It really could be a person. You're like, man, I just wish I had a better relationship with them and makes it more complicated is that they're passed away. [00:39:10] You feel like you can't do anything about that. [00:39:15] What are we thinking? [00:39:18] What are we feeling? [00:39:20] So let's close our eyes for a second. [00:39:24] Let's close our eyes. [00:39:30] Lord, God, I thank youk so much for the space. [00:39:36] I thank youk for us taking the time to think about the things in our life that we've lost, things that we're sorrowful about, things that we feel like a part of us has died and we just don't know what to do. [00:39:58] So, God, I just pray Psalms 30 over us, where it says, you have changed my sadness into a joyful dance. [00:40:11] You've taken away my sorrow and surrounded me with joy, so I will not be silent. [00:40:20] I will praise you, Lord, you are my God. [00:40:25] I will give you thanks forever. [00:40:28] God, would you allow us to do that? [00:40:31] Would you allow us to be people who move from mourning to dancing? Would you allow us, people. [00:40:40] Us to be people who are blessed because we've made time and space? [00:40:46] Father, I pray for the. For the person here who finds himself so far away from your comfort, so far away from your presence. [00:40:56] And, God, maybe it's because they've never really given their pain to you, never truly surrender their lives to you. [00:41:05] So, God, I just pray. [00:41:07] I pray for them. [00:41:09] I pray right now that they would say, God, Jesus, I give you my pain. [00:41:16] I give you my sorrow. [00:41:19] I give you my disappointment. [00:41:23] I give you my life. [00:41:27] Would. Would you fill me? [00:41:31] Would you fill me with your presence? God, would you turn my sorrow and sadness to singing once again, let's allow these words to just be poured over us. [00:41:53] Let's sit in this as we sing the song for a second. [00:41:58] Thanks for listening to this message from Mosaic church in Charlotte, North Carolina. [00:42:03] For more audio and video content, visit us at MosaicChurch TV.